De-Fluffing da Queen

I was sick of being fluffy and decided to make a change
Fast food joints and restaurants, myself...I did estrange
I walked my dog, I even cooked, Now that's a switch for me
I'm eating greens and lima beans
And drinking ugh! green tea

I go to see my family, with dog and food in tow
I'm steaming this and grilling that, and eating it reeaaalll slow
I hope I don't get waterlogged from drinking all this stuff
Life's a beach, but time will tell
We'll all know soon enough

Trixie thinks it's just a faze, and failure will take over
She would rather sleep all day, than traipse through fields of clover
I have to take her with me, she needs it just as I do
The time to change her lifestyle...is also over doo doo (ha ha, couldn't resist)

Today I tipped the weigh scale at more than when I started
Eating healthy every day, is not for the faint hearted
How can this be? I've done it all! right down to eating Kashi
I have gained??? NOT! CAN'T BE!
...I'm smelling something f...i..s..hhhy

There behind my nekked tush, a paw is reaching forward
And pushing on my bathroom scale! NOW LET ME BE STRAIGHT FORWARD
I don't need a dog... that's smart...well almost smart as I am.
Tipping the scales in her favor...
I'd call that...Bathroom Spam!

By Chick-a-dee
(a.k.a., Andria Donnelly)