Meet the Featured Whiner of the month: Puff!

Dear Trixie,

Howdy, you talented thing. Sorry it has taken so long to write, but my human is less than useful as a secretary and this dratted keyboard isn't made for my dainty paws. I'm hoping your talented brain can help with my latest problem.

While we've yet to meet, you know of me through friends of your human's who met me at the Book 'Em event in Waynesboro, VA.  I'm a hard working guy who does most of the promotion of my mom's books. That's what I was doing at Book 'Em; selling her mystery along with her other books. And I was dressed to the hilt in my Sherlock Bones outfit.  Picture enclosed.  So you can see I don't mind hard work or getting dressed for a good cause.

My problem is that my human has this crazy idea that I should honor the 400th anniversary of Jamestown with a new costume, as Captain John Sniff. 

Help!

How do I make this crazy woman understand that a metal breast plate and helmet is going to give me Rust Rash!!!!  Is there some substitute you can suggest for metal that will still look enough like the real thing to please my goofy co-author! Or do I just continue to protest on the grounds that none of her books are about Jamestown?

Pappu kisses!
 
Puff (Astra's Coffee'n Crearm)
Williamsburg, VA
 

Dear Puff – I have one word for you; "Plastic." Now while I' have to say that us girls can never have too many outfits for the bite occasions, metal against fur is a big no-no. I have to ask ... is SHE wearing a breast-plate? Bras don't count. My suggestion would be to give her the silent treatment for say, 3-4 days, then only nibble at your food (always a good "hey, look at me" thang) all the while feasting yourself on your private stash in your secret hiding place. You DO have one of those, right? AnyHOO... Make sure you have her where you want her then pull out the big guns; starting meowing. Once she sees all this, its just a matter of time before she calls in The Dog Whisperer and you'll be featured on his show. After that, you can write you own ticket and won't need the book gigs or a nasty old breast plate. Dang, sometimes I amaze even me.
 
Da Trixster - Boxer to the Stars

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